Tuesday, March 11, 2008


I cannot safely drive 35 minutes each way with the two kids to and from school, and I need advice. The problem is that I do not have even one ounce of energy to read the advice, let alone heed it. In the hopes that I will somehow discover that ounce of energy, here is what I need to know from anyone with wisdom to impart:

If a rooster knows how to get out of a car seat, how do I keep him in?
How do I keep Peaches safe from rooster attacks?

It's like I had a bag of trick in September when school started, but I have exhausted all the books, audio books, yummy car snacks, stuffed animals, songs, games, car toys, and interesting routes home. I am tapped. I tried it, I bought it, I sang it, I gave it, it's gone, I'm out, I'm dry, I'm lost, the carrots are eaten and the sticks are broken, and we are a wreck, wreck, wreck, wreck, wreck.


Anonymous said...

I am really sorry this is so difficult. I am generally not one to offer solutions, I stick more to encouragement, however, since you asked directly I shall try to oblige.

Do Rooster and Peaches go to the same place every day? Can your DH drive one to school/daycare while you drive the other?

As for actual tricks in the car, I've got no ideas. Just hugs. Have you Googled Special Needs car seats to see what might exist.

PBear said...

I'm sorry it's going so rough - there is a light though (and it's not a train!) - things really WILL get better again.

You can protect Peaches by keeping Rooster safely locked into his carseat (assuming he can't reach her while he's in it.) Can he unlatch it, or can he crawl out while it's latched? Does it have the double shoulder harness? (That would be the best kind, I don't think you can wiggle out of those.) Surely someone makes some sort of safety latch for those... I'll do some searching and see if I can find anything.

Jordan said...

Do you know what upsets him? Is it the restraint, the movement, the sounds of the car...? Does he know where he's going each time or might he be confused? Some kids benefit from holding a photo or item related to something they like where they're going - a piece of the toy he's going to play with at home, or a photo of something/someone special there. Something tangible that communicates to him where he's headed and what he can do once he gets there.

Is there something he especially loves that can happen in the car when he sits quietly, such as music he likes, a book on tape, or a cd/tape of you reading his favorite story - anything like that? Where it immediately gets turned off and the car is stopped if he is out of his seat, but if he's sitting safely in his seat it can be on? I'm trying to think along the lines of motivations to stay seated rather than punishment for getting up. What about a special snack/drink he can have if he's seated?

I'm sure if we can talk more about Rooster I could give you more ideas...

Christine said...

I'm not much help -- we suffered from the same kind of thing. I can't tell you how many times I had to pull over onto the side of the road. It got easier as Oliver became more interested in watching things out the window. How about one of those dvd players for the car? Or a special toy that he only gets to play with in the car?

Joeymom said...

Buckle guards.

Anonymous said...

I'm really moved by your story and your trials and your travails and your cautious optimism.
I think if you lose your good (or at least semi-positive) outlook you're doomed to swim in a sea of despair!!! Please know that others out here are struggling to keep their proverbial acts together with out losing their proverbial shit. I hope this support bolsters your flagging morale in some way.
PS Can a pal or family member take your babies off your hands for a short while so you can do something nice to yourself? I bet there are more than a few willing souls.

Niksmom said...

One thing you didn't mention is what kind of seat Rooster has. If it's NOT already one w/a 5pt harness that would be the first step. Next, the things Joey's mom posted might work. Really, though, I've been thinking along the lines of Jordan; reward for staying in the seat and behaving nicely vs. punishment for NOT.

Another thought came up tonight as I re-read the post: Does this behavior ONLY happen on the way to school? Does it happen ONLY when Peaches is in the car? Is it possible that somethign is going on at school that Rooster is having trouble with such as lots of transitions, some sort of painful or discomfiting sensory stuff? That sort of stuff.

I am an *absolute* beleiver that our kids' actions/behavior is a communication. I hope you are able to tease out what he is trying to tell you so you all can have more peace.