Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Lonely in a Crowd

Oh, wow.

I have spent three days stuck, snarled in my very first ever writer's block of a sort, all for naught. I feel completely ridiculous, and I invite you to laugh along at my very silly ways.

The last few weeks, I have had this ironic sense of loneliness. It isn't one thing or another, I think of it more as cumulative. (A best friend from here had gone out of town, my long distance friends were hard to reach, the teachers with whom I work have gone away on vacation, I really miss my grandma in a too-the-very-core-of-my-being kind of way...) I was trying to figure out how to write about it here without sounding like a big fat whiner going, "Be my friend! Cheer me up! Send COMMENTS! I'm NEEDY GIRL!"

And speaking of comments, I hadn't seen any. All quiet on the blogging front. I wondered what it was about the last 3 or 4 blogs that generated absolute silence?

I thought, well, that's it, I guess I pissed people off by talking about how I write mostly for myself and that I don't depend much on audience; maybe they misunderstood what I was trying to say, and that is a lonely thing.

But guess what? My settings got all messed up and I hadn't seen I had comments. Today I figured it out and read the most beautiful comments and felt the loneliness fade. Yes, I guess Needy Girl should be my new blog title, since I am so pathetic, and my laptop battery is dying so now I am typing in a mad race against the clock but I want to say first of all THANK YOU everybody for the comments - I owe you big time and will write you soon - and DUH, of course I am a needy mess, any literate person could tell that sixty blogs ago, and of course I need readers, and I feel much better now, and isn't amazing how much we learn about ourselves every single day, but especially when we blog....??? I think this post I'll probably delete if I have good sense when I reboot.................................................................


gretchen said...

I'm regularly embarassed by HOW MUCH I need comments. Especially since I'm not always great about leaving them (see this blog for one example). But as soon as I click "publish" I'm checking every 5 minutes for comments, like I'm Dooce or somebody who has 1000 readers! We're all a bit needy, or we probably wouldn't be doing this.

redheadmomma said...

LOL! You are indeed silly, but very very loved by many. :) XO R

p.s. thanks for your comment on my site unseen blog...you and others have given me strength when all I want to do is quit fighting the hard fight.

Mary said...

Yes. You're on to me. I've stopped commenting because you won't let me win any word games on Facebook.


pixiemama said...

You are so not NEEDY GIRL! But I'm sorry you felt lonely.

Niksmom said...

Okay, ditto to pretty much everything Gretchen wrote! LOL xoxo