Saturday, January 12, 2013

Big and Little

I used to teach in an elementary school with a few different buildings; after preschool, students moved to the K-3 building, and "big kids" filled the 4-6 building.

My son's school has only one building, but it hit me today that next year, when he goes to fourth grade, he will be a "big kid." I imagine some of my feelings match those of typical kids' parents. Because my Roo has autism, I feel acutely aware of the milestone in so many ways.

Will he still need a full time aide when he's "a big kid" next year? Probably.
Those suggested age ranges on toys -- do they match him now? I don't care, but I notice, and I am not sure.
Will the gulf continue to shrink, as it has, or will it start to grow? This scares me.
When is the best time to once consider uprooting him in the endless quest for a "good fit" in a school? We never stop looking.
When hormones kick in, what can we expect? Max on Parenthood comes to mind...

I adore my son, and he adds new kinds of joy to our lives each year, but I've often said we have never had an "easy year." He came into our lives in a bit of chaos with his 32-hour, vacuum-assisted labor, and almost nine years later our heads still spin, even as he becomes a big kid.

Okay, I spent fifteen minutes writing this. That is all the time I am going to allow for getting ahead of myself. I see the sun emerging on our Saturday morning, and I'm remembering to just be here, right now. Tomorrow has never offered guarantees of any kind. This day is an opportunity. I am ready to experience it with my husband, daughter, and my little boy.

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