Charming.
Good.
Fun.
Talkative.
Sweet.
Friendly.
Social.
Proud of himself.
Two weeks into summer vacation, these are some of the words I have heard people use to describe the rooster.
Sometimes I hear this in conjunction with, "When we're just one-on-one," or, "As long as he gets to decide what we're doing..." But still. Those words feel to me like fancy spa oils, soothing my dry, tired abrasions.
The rooster IS developing and growing, but it's not so much that he's made a recent radical change into a more charming guy. As much as he likes school and misses it, he just loves this time off, loves getting one-on-one attention from his amazing caregivers, setting the agenda, and avoiding too many rules or expectations.
I know I have much to learn from this, and I plan to think hard on how to take what I can extrapolate from it to find ways to make the school year more successful.
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Two kids, two full time careers - lots of people do it gracefully, but for me it's a challenge, particularly as I struggle with my boy, the rooster, and his "constellation" of health and developmental issues. Medicine so far fails to cure what ails us, so I'm trying a self-prescribed intensive dose of blogging to see if that does the trick.
2 comments:
Just wanted to say "hi" and to let you know that I've been checking in on your blog for a while. Love your writing, love that you offer uncensored thoughts about parenting. I've realized that it's somehow taboo to whine about parenting, especially when you have kids with disabilities. I love my kids - a lot. But I am tired and it is hard and I should have some place to go and say - this is so hard and I'm so tired - and so should you!
Wow, those are all pretty wonderful things to hear...in any context! :-) Remember those when the you-know-what hits the fan and you are weary...let it sustain your optimism.
More practically, have conversations with those people who have said these things and ask what they think made it so easy for him to be that way (ok, besides the whole "when we're doing what he wants..."). Find ways to turn those circumstances into supports at school (maybe he needs a 1:1 for certain types of activities?) and find ways to hep him think the thing he is doing IS his idea (where possible). Find what motivates him and use it with the things he finds less palatable. I know we always get Nik to at least attempt a new situation or a challenging/disliked activity when we combine it with, say, a toy he really likes or music. The boy will do damn near anything if it's set to music!
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