Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Lonely in a Crowd

Oh, wow.

I have spent three days stuck, snarled in my very first ever writer's block of a sort, all for naught. I feel completely ridiculous, and I invite you to laugh along at my very silly ways.

The last few weeks, I have had this ironic sense of loneliness. It isn't one thing or another, I think of it more as cumulative. (A best friend from here had gone out of town, my long distance friends were hard to reach, the teachers with whom I work have gone away on vacation, I really miss my grandma in a too-the-very-core-of-my-being kind of way...) I was trying to figure out how to write about it here without sounding like a big fat whiner going, "Be my friend! Cheer me up! Send COMMENTS! I'm NEEDY GIRL!"

And speaking of comments, I hadn't seen any. All quiet on the blogging front. I wondered what it was about the last 3 or 4 blogs that generated absolute silence?

I thought, well, that's it, I guess I pissed people off by talking about how I write mostly for myself and that I don't depend much on audience; maybe they misunderstood what I was trying to say, and that is a lonely thing.

But guess what? My settings got all messed up and I hadn't seen I had comments. Today I figured it out and read the most beautiful comments and felt the loneliness fade. Yes, I guess Needy Girl should be my new blog title, since I am so pathetic, and my laptop battery is dying so now I am typing in a mad race against the clock but I want to say first of all THANK YOU everybody for the comments - I owe you big time and will write you soon - and DUH, of course I am a needy mess, any literate person could tell that sixty blogs ago, and of course I need readers, and I feel much better now, and isn't amazing how much we learn about ourselves every single day, but especially when we blog....??? I think this post I'll probably delete if I have good sense when I reboot.................................................................

5 comments:

gretchen said...

I'm regularly embarassed by HOW MUCH I need comments. Especially since I'm not always great about leaving them (see this blog for one example). But as soon as I click "publish" I'm checking every 5 minutes for comments, like I'm Dooce or somebody who has 1000 readers! We're all a bit needy, or we probably wouldn't be doing this.

redheadmomma said...

LOL! You are indeed silly, but very very loved by many. :) XO R

p.s. thanks for your comment on my site unseen blog...you and others have given me strength when all I want to do is quit fighting the hard fight.

MOM-NOS said...

Yes. You're on to me. I've stopped commenting because you won't let me win any word games on Facebook.

;)

pixiemama said...

You are so not NEEDY GIRL! But I'm sorry you felt lonely.

Niksmom said...

Okay, ditto to pretty much everything Gretchen wrote! LOL xoxo