I over-think. And I talk too much.
People ask me how Peaches is doing, and I say, "Fine!" Unless they ask for details, I leave it at that.
People ask me how Rooster is doing, and for some reason I find myself analyzing numerous variables quickly in my head, then, less quickly, rambling on and on...
I want to learn to just say, "Fine!" For one thing, that IS the social convention. People expect to hear, "fine." For another, I do think my boy is fine. He is quite a fine person and quite a fine son.
What I find myself saying goes something like this:
"Okay, I guess. I'm never really sure. I mean, I think he's making good progress with some things, but other things sometimes seem to regress. And he never catches up, of course, but he's starting to make some strides in academics... well, in reading anyway, but math is another story... that has been really, really, really hard... and his health has been mostly better overall really...I just wish that..."
See? Queen of TMI.
I think maybe when people ask me how my son is, I hear, "How are you dealing with autism?" I want to remember:
- not everything is about autism
- not everybody really wants to know
- not everything is about me
- less is more
Next time you see me, ask me how my Rooster is; I want to practice replying with a four-letter f-word that is more than socially acceptable -- it's socially expected.
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Two kids, two full time careers - lots of people do it gracefully, but for me it's a challenge, particularly as I struggle with my boy, the rooster, and his "constellation" of health and developmental issues. Medicine so far fails to cure what ails us, so I'm trying a self-prescribed intensive dose of blogging to see if that does the trick.
6 comments:
Oh, I can absolutely relate to this. I do the same exact thing.
Oh, this made me laugh... Not everyone requires the entire litany of everything we're experiencing, but sometimes it's difficult to remember that when it's your entire life...
You are SO not alone on this one. I've embraced the word "GREAT!" because, not only is he great, I'm really the only one who cares if he's still in diapers at night, if he's mastered dressing himself and whether ... well, anything really. Unless he's broken a limb or gone missing, he basically is great.
xo
Sadly, my brain has gone on hiatus, and I can't remember if I responded to this or not, just remember reading it... Everything truly is relative, isn't it? It's kind of scary what I now think passes for a great day!
*sigh* I do this too
Oh! I have JUST been thinking about how I do this when people ask about my daughter. Exactly the same thing. It's just far too complicated to say "fine." But I like pixiemama's answer -- GREAT is both a) true; and b) a good reminder to concentrate on all the things that are going great.
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