Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Balance?

Here is what passes for balance at our house.

The better that my son, my Rooster, does in overcoming behavior challenges associated with autism, the worse my neurotypical daughter behaves. For her, two was not terrible. It was the last time I remember thinking of her overall, general behavior as darling, delicious, delightful. She has plenty of good in her, but lately her choices? Rotten. Three was a year of tantrums and "no." Four is breaking me at the knees. On her good days? Roo has setbacks.

And that, friends, is what passes for "balance" at Rooster Calls.

3 comments:

Liz Ditz said...

She's hitting the "furious fours". No, really. For many kids, 48-60 months are more turbulent in terms of emotion, behavior, and self-regulation than 24-36 months.

I don't have a theory about this, really, but some observations.

With many four year olds, the desire to be independent and the desire to be cared for (or catered to) is...well at war. In terms of behavior this is a conflict carried to the parents.

Many 4yo know what they aren't supposed to do but don't yet have the self-regulation to stop themselves from impulsive acts.

I don't have any good answers, other than to suggest you observe (to the best of your ability) the antecedents of good behavior are.

Some families find that a stricter routine about mealtimes and bedtimes helps. In other words, their 3 year old was happily getting along with irregularity, and the same child at 4 needed more structure to be a good citizen.

kim mccafferty said...

I'm laughing only because I'm remembering how when Zach regressed, Justin took huge developmental leaps, and when Zach made progress, Justin regressed. I hear you on this one!

Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) said...

Just seeing this now, and nodding my head in agreement. Whenever Boo is doing fairly well, Betty's behavior is abyssmal. It's maddening, really. It's what passes for balance in this house, too.