Unanswerable questions

I have the best husband ever. He is adorable, sweet, and smart, and no, I have no idea why he picked me. I remember asking over and over and over and over when we met how on earth no one had snatched him up by then, allowing him to reach the ripe old age of 28 without a wife. 

We have very little in common, as you can see. The part that will clearly indicate to you that he "completes me" is this: you can't bring J down. He buoys back every time. And not in an annoying way, either. He's no bright-sider, no Dudley Do-right. He just has a natural Tiggerishness to my Eeyoreness. I like him. I love him. I'm crazy about him. I want to be more like him. Stay away from him, I found him first. 

If you don't hear a "but" coming, you must be new here. 

So, here is the Meme I have had on my mind. If you knew you had to ask your partner/spouse/significant other 20 objective questions that they could NOT possibly answer, what would you ask? You know, stumpers that might have been on that old show, The Newlywed Game...

Here is my list of THE UNANSWERABLE:

How many loads of laundry do our children require a week? 

What do we need at the grocery store? 

What is today's date? 

How does one go about sending holiday cards? 

Name all of our kids' current teachers. 

What do our children eat for breakfast on weekdays?

What do our children eat for lunch on weekdays? 

What do our children eat for dinner on weekdays? 

What size shoes do the kids wear? 

What important business do we have on the calendar for this week? Or tomorrow? 

What code word did the school give us in order to pick the kids up in an emergency? 

How long can you keep a toothbrush before you should throw it away or donate it to science? 

When should you throw away food (or risk poisoning your family) despite the fact that technically it isn't the "SELL BY" date yet? 

Name one gift we ever gave to your grandmother since we met. 

How do you set the alarm clock? 

How does a calendar work? 

What is the only thing I ever asked for (and which I have never received) for my birthday? 

If you plan to travel with our kids, what goes in the suitcase?

What did I tell you that you simply MUST remember in case I suddenly die soon? 

How do you put up with me?