Monday, April 28, 2008

FEAR

I am not cut out for this.

I don't know how to make all these decisions and balance the risks versus the potential of this or that. I don't think I can do the things that need doing.

Panic is setting in full throttle.

8 comments:

redheadmomma said...

tell us more.

XO R

kristenspina said...

Sending you a hug.

PBear said...

BREATHE....

Relax. You're doing GREAT. And remember, no decision is ever cut into stone. If something doesn't work, you change it. You're guaranteed to have to change something anyway, so it doesn't matter. You're not being judged by anyone on your decisions (or at least not by anyone who matters) and just the fact that you are doing SOMETHING is helping Rooster. So don't feel like the whole world is on your shoulders.

You can do this. The number one weapon a child needs is a parent who cares - and he's got that in spades. So you're doing fine.

Take one step at a time; you don't have to do everything at once (you can't anyway, the Rooster will never be able to deal with it.) Pick the one thing that is the most important to you, or that seems to be giving him the most trouble, and start there. See how it goes. If it's working, after a while, choose another.

Yes, it can be easier to make big changes with earlier intervention, but it's truly not like you've missed the boat, so if that's what you're worrying about, stop! You will be able to help him, you will be able to make things better, and it will work far better for all of you to take it slowly at a pace you all can handle, rather than destroying yourself trying to do it all at once.

OK? Now, breathe. Take a piece of chocolate. Breathe again. :-)

Karin

bea said...

well, I recognise your emotions.
I have 3 daughters, the youngest recently turned 14 and has only been diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum a year or so ago. We'd been having lots of problems with her before, now we understand a little better how come.
We too have many decisions to make (she isn't managing school very well, for instance) and it seems like the weight of the whole world is on our shoulders.
It's not that I don't panick from time to time, but as pbear said: "your decisions aren't cut in stone." If by hindsight you're not totally pleased with the choices you made, most of them can be turned back: if you find a better school, if you hear about a more appropriate counsellor just change!

Hang in there!

Joeymom said...

***HUGS*** Don't panic. What can we do?

Berlinbound said...

I found you this morning while searching for Rooster Calls.

I'm trying to write a story about a Rooster with my four-year-old boy - the one who will come in here any moment now and ask me how many pages I've written this morning then sit on my lap to listen to me read it aloud.

I don't have any advice - but I wish you well.

jen:) said...

I can't do this either....

yet - somehow I do each day - that doesn't always mean that I do it the "right" way....or that I always make the perfect decisions...but each day I do it - whatever it takes....often exhausted and overwhelmed and through the blurring vision of tears...but I do it & I hold on tight to the knowledge that the power-that-be.....chose me to be this little boys mom

I question that almost daily but believe it in the core of who I am & that sometimes gets me through...

I can't do it either - but I will keep trying....

Joeymom said...

Just popping by to say I'm thinking of you. And missing you. And hoping everything is going better.

And sending some more extra hugs.