Thursday, January 21, 2010

Theory

I despise (hate, detest, abhor, loathe, hate...oh I said that already) the fear I feel of jinxes.
But it IS real. The fear, I mean. And the jinxes.
So, how do I go about telling you the good stuff?
The only thing I can think to improve my odds is to first couch it in a steaming pile of complaints. Allow me to dump this:
  • When I put sunflower seed butter on Roo's toast tonight instead of Earth Balance, he threw a football at my head. At close range.
  • I am pretty sure I could have paid for Julia's red carpet dress with what I've spent so far on Good Nights.
  • My car is on a recall list for a possible defect that terrifies me too much to describe to you in a post about jinxes. The dealership says it can't help me with the fix for month.
  • My son's teachers want him to learn to snap his own pants, and we are trying, but it doesn't help that he can't see the snap over his melon belly. No store I can find has sizes that fit him. Size 5husky are too tight, size 6husky are too long, and it's too cold for shorts.
  • Peaches has hit a phase of, um, okay, disequilibrium. But incessent whining and shrill screaming and absurd, obsessive demands make me want to describe it as b*tchiness. Sorry, I should have more patience.
  • I tried nine times to find out about Roo's day. Every answer one of the various and detailed answers he gave came from his Peter Pan CD.
  • Tomorrow I get to take 60 kindergarten students on a full day field trip to an art museum renowned not so much for its child-friendly art but for its gardens --- during the worst series of endless storms to have hit these parts in some time. I am listening to hail fall as I write this. The museum officials do not allow you to eat inside, and they do not have shelter where you can eat outside, and there are NOT enough bathrooms to suit me. This is how I spend my "vacation" days.

Okay, on the off chance anyone is still with me, I posit this theory, owning that it may be entirely wrong, and also that the deities might be about to smite me:

The Rooster seems like he is emerging. We spent the last year giving him some medication we believed would help him regulate his aggression, and when we learned we had to wean him off it I felt terrified, only to find out that with every level we reduce on his medication, he appears more peaceful, present, communicative, and happy. Now I find myself looking forward to April when he'll be completely chemical free.

I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST TOLD YOU THAT. AND ON A NIGHT WHERE WE'VE HAD THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.

Climbing UNDER my bed now...

Please do a purification ritual on my behalf, send our family any of your spare good karma, and wrap the rooster in a protective force field. Knock on something, burn some incense, and call me mean names. Anything, anything, but keep away the jinxy deities.

5 comments:

redheadmomma said...

seriously, the part about your getting 10 different answers, all from Peter pan? I laughed my ass off at that one! That would make an excellent joke that only we all would get! It reminds me of design school in college where we'd make up "font jokes" that only we designers would get. This made me almost spit out my gum, I was laughing so hard!

...suggestion on the pants: I have a rather big bellied boy myself, and I suggest getting the size 6 husky that's too long, and shortening the pants. I do this often....I've hemmed them on a machine, but when I can't find my machine (as in, when we were in the apt and our stuff was in storage), I also took advantage of two great inventions: hem glue & hem tape, both found at fabric stores. They hold in the wash. Easy peasy!

And your ending thoughts...about you-know-what....is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Doing smudges with owl feathers now...

XOXO R

Chloe's Mommy said...

I think you're safe...taking 60 kindergarteners on such a field trip (with the weather you've been having) has got to count as a free pass.

Knockig on the wooden desk, with all my fingers crossed.

pixiemama said...

Fluttering my fingers above my head for you...

xo

jess wilson said...

Spitting on two fingers as we speak.

Friggin awesome!

Kate said...

sending a sage smudge and invisible forcefield your way. a bit belatedly for the museum adventure...hope it went well.