If I could, I would climb right out of my own skin and walk away.
Would I come back later? Maybe.
If I could, I would take this whole day and crumple it up in a ball and aim for the circular file.
Would I miss anything? Probably not.
If I could, I'd hop a train, plane, or hot air balloon and ride off to Tulsa to visit a brand new baby and smell his soft new skin and kiss his downy fluff.
Would I be nostalgic and longing?
Sure. And happy if.
If I could, I'd rewrite all the rules.
All selfishly. All fair.
If I could, I'd go back and start over and do it all better.
Would I mess up sometimes anyway? Without a doubt.
If I could, I'd sleep right now. But I can't. So I'm writing this instead.
If I can if, I will.
I if.
If you?
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Two kids, two full time careers - lots of people do it gracefully, but for me it's a challenge, particularly as I struggle with my boy, the rooster, and his "constellation" of health and developmental issues. Medicine so far fails to cure what ails us, so I'm trying a self-prescribed intensive dose of blogging to see if that does the trick.
1 comment:
I if all the time. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes - it drives me even more insane. I wish, too. I wish I could answer your ifs.
xo
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