Saturday, August 2, 2008

checking in

When I blog, for me it's usually a process like giving blood. I feel some anxiety when I sit down, but I try not to think too much, and then I open up a vein, and when the container is full, I am done, eat a cookie, and don't look back.

(Okay: confession time. I don't give blood any more because it makes me faint. I'm usually mildly anemic and I have vasovagal issues. Just the sight of the bloodmobile yesterday made me dizzy - because I'm also just getting silly as I get old.)

Anyway, as you can see, I'm having trouble blogging lately. I've been working on a post for quite some time, and that is a first for me. It won't come. I am trying to process the grief of several recent losses, and for once I am unable to do it in my usual way. I'm stuck. I'm thinking too much, trying too hard, worrying what people will think... And I don't know how to get untangled. I will keep trying. I know there are more than a few of you still out there, checking in, and I send you all my thanks for that.

Next post up: a notable and quotable that hopefully lends some needed levity...

5 comments:

Niksmom said...

Oh how this resonates with me today! I'm in a "tangled up" place, too, with thoughts, feelings, words that won't come, words I'm afraid to give voice to...
Sending hugs; it's all I've got today! xo

pixiemama said...

Once your voice starts to clear, please keep in mind: none of us log on to judge. We like you just the way you are.

xo

Gwyneth said...

Hi Gayle - I think that's why I usually blog about lightweight things, and other people. It's too difficult to find the right way to tell the real stories. I think it's the nature of the medium - part journal, but part public offering, even entertainment. It's a challenge to balance those. You do a good job, for what it's worth.

redheadmomma said...

I agree with Pixiemama. We'll take what you give us. It's okay.

jen said...

I love that you share your heart with us - thank you.

a good friend of mine shared with me recently that she so appreciated that I had started my blog because she finally knew how she could pray for me....

and so I thank you for what you've shared & will pray for your heart to heal & the words to come and your spirit to be untangled...

no worries about us here in blogger land...you just take care of you! know that we don't log on just to glean valuable insight through your thoughful posts...but to lend support & encouragement as well.