Thursday, May 8, 2008

Brushes with Insanity

I am very, very, very tired. Weary. Worn. Pooped. Exhausted. Hold on while I it.
Well, I don't have enough energy left for that, so I'll show you what I mean by how bad my fatigued parenting just got. (Do keep in mind it's already past bedtime. We left extra early today so we could have a parent conference -- the joys of a parent conference. The rooster is still up, still running wild. Many of you know how the earlier part of my week went...)
I am so tired that...

Me: Bribe, blah blah, bribe, blah blah
Rooster: NO! I don't like to BRUSH MY TEETH!
Me: Please, Roo...
(Rooster halfway swats at me, not trying to hurt or hit but to let me know he is angry.)
Rooster: AAAHHAH. I don't want to brush my teeth.
Me: You have to brush your teeth. (Pause. Sigh.) Or all your teeth will turn black and fall out.
(He looks at me in horror, all attention now, eyes wide. I look back, aghast at what I just said. And then I collapse in silent heaves. I am laughing, too tired to make any more sense than that; a wreck, convulsing on the floor, a laughing fool.)
Husband: Well. Geez, Honey. I guess you know what you're blogging about tonight!
(Husband and Rooster head to the bathroom to brush teeth flawlessly and without incident. I am a bad mother, and have gone somewhat crazy. Please someone insist I blog about the "Under Toad"'s debilitating impact on my life whenever I next have enough stamina to type words again. Goodnight. I'm too tired to even brush my teeth.)


Joeymom said...

Hey, one of the kids at Joey's therapy office actually did have his teeth turn black. But they didn't fall out. THEY HAD TO BE PULLED OUT. Yik-a-roonies!!!

Niksmom said...

Hee hee! That was actually a stroke of brilliance. Desperate times and all that... but if it works to end the argument...I say go for it!