Scared.
I am.
Today I asked my husband,
What are we going to do?
He shuffled oddly forward.
Irked me.
What are you DOING?
Putting one foot
in front of the other,
he tells me.
But HOW?
School, doctors, bills, jobs.
Mitochondria?
Tests. Answers. Diagnoses.
Friends, birthday parties. Social awkwardness.
Therapies, therapies, therapies, therapies.
Family.
Expectations. Travel. Travel expectations. Expected travels.
Week days, weekends, holidays. Summer!
IEPs, Regional Centers, doctors.
Strangers. Ignorance. Questions.
It is all too hard, too many feet, one at a time.
I want to run.
Lord, give me patience, and hurry it up.
I am scared tonight of even the fear.
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Two kids, two full time careers - lots of people do it gracefully, but for me it's a challenge, particularly as I struggle with my boy, the rooster, and his "constellation" of health and developmental issues. Medicine so far fails to cure what ails us, so I'm trying a self-prescribed intensive dose of blogging to see if that does the trick.
Followers
Rooster Calls
Some of My Reading
Blog Archive
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2008
(181)
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March
(44)
- ?
- "My So Called Life?"
- Two Steps Forward...
- Walking the Talk
- Hi ho, Hi ho...School Daze
- Which Rooster is Calling?
- Well Shut My Mouth
- Comfort Levels
- Diagnosed
- Found Time
- Like Sally Field
- Some Kids I CAN Help
- To The Office
- I Get By
- Car Talk
- i am always awake forever
- Anyone who reads my blogs clearly needs a good lau...
- If
- NO
- FEAR
- Doctor Doctor
- ABCs - Teach Me!
- Confession is Good for the Judge
- Pieceful Resistance
- Miracles of Modern Medicine
- Back in Business
- What Helps
- Dear Doctor
- Finding our Center
- Bad Metaphors
- Hazards
- Perspective
- Curses
- If You Blog - Questions from a Neophyte
- The Mouth of My Babe
- My Village by Way of LA
- ALARM!
- The Third Shoe Drops
- Today's Bad Daze
- HELP! Request for Information
- Coincidences Come in Threes
- Good Night Gorilla
- DURST
- Amelia Bedelia
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March
(44)
2 comments:
One step at a time, my dear. One step at a time. Focus on today and what's right in front of you. The rest will come in its time.
The beginning is the hardest. Knowing what to believe, weighing everything, figuring out where to focus your energies when you barely have any to spare -- it is HARD. Give yourself time. Be good to yourself!!! Don't feel like you have to rush into anything or that you have to figure it all out now. It is a marathon, not a sprint, as they say.
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